Road to my new and improved body!!

So.. yes, this is me.. all of me.  And that's going to change! When I look in the mirror I do not like what I see.  When I was younger I really weighed nothing.  I was skinny... the hubby has seen pictures and actually says I was way too skinny for his taste but I have to admit I liked it.  I liked looking down and being able to see my feet. lol..  I liked being able to wear a bikini and look pretty dang good. (just ftr I would NOT be caught dead in one now! oh the horror! lol) I loved being skinny and not having breathing issues or having trouble ever morning deciding what to wear because nothing in my closet fit.  I loved being able to walk into a store and try on pretty much anything I wanted because let's all face it they are totally catered to small, petite people unless you are in a store like Lane Bryant.  Do I really want to weigh 115 lbs. again? NOPE.  But a nice, healthy 140-150 would be FANTASTIC.  I dated a guy when I was younger who always told me that if I gained weight he was pretty sure that he couldn't stay with me.. wonder what he would think if he saw me now?! Actually, I don't really care what he would think.. I KNEW he wasn't the one for me when he said that. (well that and many other things but that was a big one!)  I mean seriously, what would of happened when I got pregnant with his child? I couldn't have gained a pound right?  Well I'm sorry but I gained weight with Natalie.. not as much as I thought I would because for the first five months I threw up everyday and actually lost weight because of it.  I knew that gaining weight was important to her to keep her healthy and I was ok with that.  But honestly in the last 6 years that she's been alive I've gained around 60 lbs.  when you break that down in years it's only 10 lbs. a year.. which doesn't seem too terribly bad.. but if you think about it, it's a lot of weight to put on a smaller frame.. Both of my biological parents were big people.. and pretty much my whole family has a short, stocky build.  I had promised myself that I would never get "fat" like that.. that I would never weigh more than 200 lbs. in my lifetime... well that day has come and gone... I can't believe I'm saying I weigh more that 200 lbs. but I am... I had gotten to around 170 and told myself.. "this isn't so bad, I'll be alright"... I hit 180 and said,"well I'm 20 lbs. away.. I just have to watch what I'm eating and I'll be fine".. I hit 190 and I stopped looking at the scale.. stopped weighing myself altogether.. in fact I think I hid that damn scale.  The only real reason I knew how much I weighed was a couple of months ago I was sick and had to give in and go to the doctor.. they always weigh you.. and the nurse had the audacity to say something along the lines of ,"wow, you've put on some weight since the last time we've seen you in here!" seriously?! you feel the need to tell me that?! wow! and this was coming from a woman who knows you never talk about a woman's age or weight! lol...
I've tried before to loose the weight.. I've tried a lot of different diets.. I've tried watching what I eat. I've tried taking pop out of my diet (of course it always works it's way back into my diet!) I've tried a lot of different things.. I've tried doing the whole exercise thing.. it goes well for a while and then eventually (if not sooner) I give up on that and go back to my comfortable ways.. In my heart of hearts I know that I need to loose the weight to be a healthier me.. I know that someone is going to need to be around for our special little lady.. I know that I don't want to not be around for her or for Darrell or for Julia.. and I know that heart disease runs in my family.. so things are stacked against me.  I'm determined this time! I'm determined to loose at least 50... I don't have a timeline (I've done that too before and I've never met the deadline and then I gave up because I never did..) this time.. I can't do that to myself again.. I don't have an action plan except that  I need to get on that darn treadmill everyday and I need to be watching what I eat and take out the pop and go back to drinking just water.  This is a goal of mine... I'm going to do what I can to make it happen.

so here are the hard, cold facts:
I'm 37 years old.
I'm 5'5
and I weigh 206 lbs. 
In the next year TWO of those numbers are going to change. I'm going to make sure of the last one, that's for sure! ;)
~Tricia~

here are some of the reasons I know I can do this:

They are pretty good motivation aren't they!? :)